Gettin' Clean

Clean - Day 1

Today is the first day of the Miller family's attempt to detoxify.  

2012 was a terrible year for my health.  My seasonal allergies just about killed me - weird symptoms: short of breath and aching chest (kind of like what I would imagine an impending heart attack), extreme fatigue, dizzy and light-headed, anxiety like I've never known before (racing brain, jumbled, incomplete thoughts, inability to concentrate, etc), cold, tingling extremities, sensitivity to light and general emotional malaise.  I spent much of the year just surviving - hoping no one would notice.  

Death IS The Real Problem

The unbelievable tragedy in Connecticut is wrong on many levels.  And on every level, with every issue there are sides to argue.  Most of us instinctively pick one.  We disagree, or at least we see the issues differently.  If you spend a few minutes on the internet, you will find wildly divergent perspectives, charged with intense emotion.  Interestingly, the conflict on these issues, especially when the issue is the main connection (rather than the relationship), rarely ends in resolution.  More often than not, it ends in greater anger, judgement and separation.  

Thank You Ryan Woods

Thursday Brotherhood

My friend Ryan Woods took a short cut today.  After spending his rich life generously, graciously and with much humor and honesty - He left.  Too soon for those that knew him even a little.  He raised the bar for the rest of us and kept the angels laughing and scratching their beards.  I will miss him and I am terribly sad for Jess and their kids but God is good and he will love them well.  

Ryan laid it all out.  He risked nearly everything.  I’d just say he risked it all but I don’t know him that well.  It sure seemed like it.  In doing so, he secured all that was important and left behind a whole passel of people who at the very least are curious and at most are following him while he follows Jesus.  

Being on Mission is Not Work

Being on mission is not like work.  There are a few words that evoke a particular internal response in me.  I’m wrestling with my response because I don’t like how it feels.  “Intentional” and “purposeful” are two of those words; right along with “mission”.  The idea of being on mission is attractive to me.  I like the sense of doing something – facing a challenge, overcoming it and getting the task accomplished.  I think that’s great when I’m building, cleaning, fixing or solving something tangible.  But it doesn’t work well in relationships.

Ain't That Simple

It just ain’t that simple.  Life.  It’s complex.  Seriously, and I’m sorry about this, I know I often find some comfort in this effort, but - there really is no way to break life down into a few easy steps.  It’s not something we can wrap our brains around.  If I’m paying attention, really aware of all the different pieces of any experience, I can’t even wrap my head around one event.  In the end, even in the beginning, this is better.  Infinitely better.  Imagine if we really could understand – boredom would overwhelm us.

To illustrate complexity in a simple event, let’s take pounding a nail. 

More Dramatic

The sign at our new house being removed

The Miller family has left the compound.  We have been waiting three long, eventful and uh, “character building” years for this event.  It’s a long story with unexpected twists and fascinating characters.  It is not nearly over or nearly understood but the setting has changed dramatically.  Together we are thankful beyond explanation both to God for his provision and our friends and family for their support and very practical help.

Cold Feet

feet on floor

Ah yes, I think I woke up.  At the very least, I can tell that the bottoms of my feet are colder than they should be if they are still ensconced under the covers.  Probably means they are resting on the concrete floor by my bed and I haven’t found my fluffy slippers yet.  I’m not sure this really qualifies as woke up, but it is a great comparison.  I spend so much time upright and moving without being attentive.  I notice this lack of awareness when I’m gently jolted into interest.  I’m embarrassed that I spend so much time like a zombie.  Just moving forward, concerned only with what I will consume next, unaware that what I consume does not nourish.  Why live as a zombie if I’m not dead?

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Love your Neighbor, Drink Coffee!

If you like coffee and you love your neighbor - this is a great opportunity to combine the two!  Even if you don't like your neighbor you should buy the coffee just for yourself or for a Christmas present.  If you don't like coffee but you like your neighbor, buy the coffee for them.  If you don't like your neighbor or coffee... I don't know what to tell you.  You lead a very sad life.  Let's meet for coffee somewhere near your neighborhood and talk about it.

Fresh picked Guatemala coffee cherries

Engedi Café at US Digital is offering a unique and wonderful fundraising opportunity.  All the proceeds for the coffee they sell next week support Go Connect.  This is good because Go Connect does great things in the community.  It’s a really good deal –

If you buy one bean for $11.00 you get a whole pound for free!

All the proceeds from each bean you buy support Go Connect efforts like Compassion Vancouver and Neighbor LinkUp.  You can buy as many beans as you like, so stock up for the holidays!  There are several different roasts from BJ’s available.  Let’s see if we can sell 300 beans before the November 17^th deadline. 

Text or call me at 360-798-9989, comment or send me an email and I’ll make the arrangements. 

You can also come to my open house on Thursday the 17^th from 8 to 8.  Buy some beans, drink some coffee and find out more about Neighbor LinkUp. 

Good Things for a Bad Person?

It is a scary place, this spinning speck of dirt caught between the tide of heaven and hell.  When my imagination brings some meaning to the information my brain is collecting, I am so relieved to know I am saved from the terror.  It’s scary to know I am so close and it is so easy, so regular to end up drifting in ignorance, rebellion and abject stupidity into the abyss. 

I am at odds with my base desires when I soften to the strong, quiet affections of Jesus.  But, oh, it is a worthy effort to let go and rest in them.

Tastes Great, Less Filling

I used to work too much.  I still do every chance I get but I try to spread the chances out a bit more.  It’s an opportunity I’m taking advantage of since my 1.7 decade contracting business augured into the ground like a giant run-a-way drill bit drilling holes for pole building posts.  Why work hard when you can live off the benefits of investing your life in the system of entrepreneurial business ownership?  I’m not sure a question mark is appropriate at the end of a rhetorical, sarcastic comment. 

Quitter

Quitting.

Adequate if not ideal fodder for Monday morning considerations before stumbling from bed. Quitting that is. Quit the demanding and uncomfortable exercise program since it means I have to get up RIGHT NOW. Quit shaving, showering and perhaps brushing my teeth in the morning for the same reason. Quitting my job so I have more time for exercise and Facebook and then it doesn’t matter when I shower or what my breath smells like. For me, it’s not an issue of cavities – I’m genetically resistant and I eat a lot of spicy food. I’m safe. Its just halitosis I’m concerned with. If I stay in bed long enough, everyone leaves except the dogs and the smelly breath playing field is pretty level.

Mind vs. Heart

A little morning sonnet -

Dreary in morning, my mind is bothered
My good heart waits for clearing in the fog
And remembers strength of who I’m fathered
Thinking right barely drags me from the bog

Facing the day, behind unopened doors
Waiting to try and knowing I’m artless
Alone I live safely, inside and bored
What is the key to avoiding darkness?

Surrender must come to life that’s given
Efforts to win are lost without substance
Giving up offers the soul that is riven
The hope on the road that’s laden with chance

Broken heart healed is the only promise
Myself solved in mind is only heart-less



Some explanation -

This is a consideration of where the energy, drive and capacity for full life really come from.

Getting Up to Pee

I wake up earlier than I used to. It’s not because I’ve finally become disciplined, it’s because I have to pee, one of the joyful failings of middle age. My older friends smile condescendingly and say, “just wait” like I do to whiny teenagers. But everyone has a pain they must endure that seems a heavier burden than they can bear. Mine is undesirable pressure to rise early.