Pick Right

PICK RIGHT – Acts 17
         The other morning a guy asked me if I believed in other gods.  He was a new Craig’s list friend that had interrupted my morning to take the weight of some left over cardboard off my shoulders.  When he got out of his little blue faded Chevy pickup with the mismatched canopy, I asked him how he was.  I remind myself again, dangerous, unpredictable question.  It’s like bending over to pick up the mail right in the middle of a sneeze.  Doesn’t seem like it would require a big effort, or even any attention, but if you aren’t prepared, you could find yourself in traction.  Yes, you can actually blow up the finely constructed discs in your back if you are bent funny when you sneeze.  It’s the same with the “how ya doin’?” question.  If you ask and you are unprepared, not paying attention, you may find yourself in the midst of a three-hour conversation with a former stranger as God puppeteers you while he alters a life right before your eyes. 
            This guy, Uncle Paul he told me, was the kind of guy I tend to like immediately.  Unassuming, confident, on the hairy side, worn out work clothes, calluses, a bit gimpy and a bit grumpy; he projected an air of not needing to prove anything.  When he answered me, he hesitated a long slow moment, preparing to lie.  Then in a sighing drawl, “Oh, doin’ alright.”  The inflection at the end halfway between question and statement – he knew that if I was paying attention, I would know he was lying.  But he was looking to get some weight off his shoulders to.  In this case, I knew I should hold still and listen; I really wanted to hear whatever he had to say.  I told him he wasn’t very convincing and he quit lying. 
            We started talking.  We loaded up the cardboard, tied it down, shut the tailgate and then stood there trading stories and sizing each other up.  My suspicions were right.  He was the kind of guy I liked.  A craftsman of fiberglass motorcycle, boat and NASCAR parts and anything else he could get paid for.  Business was slowing down, kids were not what he had hoped and his overworked joints took too long to drag out of bed every morning.  Eventually we got to the meaning of life; or maybe that’s where we had started.  Like I said, he asked me if I believed in other Gods.
The string between God and my Styrofoam cup was vibrating while he was asking me the question.  During the seven nanoseconds from when I knew what he was asking and before he reached the question mark, I un-forgot an old epiphany.  He mentioned, for example, an old Indian lady who genuinely believed in Buddha.  How could I know that she was wrong and I was right?  That question is slightly off  target and I think most of the time, through defensiveness, I/we miss the point.  It’s not that there are not other gods.  Of course there are, they are referred to repeatedly all through scripture.  Often they are called idols.  There are lots of gods.  Pick any one you want.  There are gods who will be your boyfriend, make you rich, “supposedly” control the weather, fertility, health, peace on earth, protection from evil spirits and any other kind of influence you want or are worried about.  In varying and unpredictable degrees of effectiveness, you can pick your god by what services and benefits they provide.  Some gods offer harmony with the rest of the world, some offer multiple virgin wives in eternity (how long can that last?), some offer the ultimate state of nothingness (nirvana) and some offer reincarnation.  Nearly all suggest that if you behave correctly, things will work out, you will be blessed.  So, the harder you try, the more or better you get it both now and forever.
In my mind, the question of how do I know I’m right and someone else who has chosen a different god is wrong is not focused on whether their god exists or not.  It’s much more focused on how cool he is.  I say, lots of gods exist, so pick the best one.  Pick the super duper, tougher than all the rest, knows everything, all powerful, everywhere at once, defies comprehension, knows me personally and cares about my life God.  Pick the God of all Gods.  The one who is in charge of all the rest.  The one who wrote the story.  The central figure in the story.  The one who chooses all the characters and puts them in the roles he designed them for.  Pick the one who has both this temporal world and all of eternity under his creative control and he is doing a great job so far.
But there is another reason.  It may be the main one as far as I am concerned.  All other gods and religions require my behavior as a prerequisite for the benefits they offer.  This concerns me.  It’s not that I’m not a pretty good guy.  My wife, my kids, my parents and my friends like me (as far as I know).  I’m not overly irresponsible.  I am sincere (mostly).  I smell ok most of the time – I do falter in this area if there is an opportunity for Mongolian Grill – I love that stuff.  I’m not all that disciplined or organized or attentive.  All of my “pretty nice guy” status is added, subtracted defined and measured according to the culture I live in.  I have some insight into the selfish nature that drives me, the weakness I struggle with and my tendency to take the easy route.   I am concerned.
Frankly, I do not look forward to an eternity I had to work for on earth.  My earning capacity it way too limited and the time frame is too short.  It will be lame, I am sure of it.  If, according to all those other gods, I have a bunch of stuff I have to do right in order to get the benefits of their program, then they are lame gods.  Why would I want them if I have to do all the work (or any of the work for that matter)?  I think, if you are going to set yourself up as a god, then you should be badass!  You should take all the responsibility, do all the work and not rely on a bunch of weak, whiny, stupid people who can’t remember the lesson from the last painful mistake they made for more than a couple days (at best).  If you are going to be god, you should get credit for making everything, being in charge of it, keeping it going, having a purpose for every single minute aspect of it and you should both be in it and bigger than it.  You ought to know literally everything and be beyond the understanding of squeaky Cindy Lou Who and all the rest of us in Who Ville. 
Bottom line, if you claim to be god, then by my definition and any logical, satisfying definition of god – you should be totally in charge of making everything and everyone that is cool, cool!  If you have to rely on anyone or anything else to accomplish this, then as a god, you suck!
So, in conclusion, I don’t say that the devout Buddha worshipper is worshipping nothing.  I believe in their god.  I just don’t have any faith in their god or his motives.  I say it’s the wrong god and not actually worthy of worship.  It does not love them.  It cannot save them.  It is actually intent on their destruction.  Even if all it said were true, what it offers is less than I want.  I want and need and recommend the God who loves me, died to prove it and offers life apart from my ability for eternity.  Anything less is a lot less.