Watching Momentum

It’s all about the shoes.  At least for me, this time, the shoes were the X-factor.  You know that feeling of freedom and joy that comes when you were broken and now you’re not?  The day you realize your back doesn’t hurt anymore, your head isn’t filled with mucus or the results came back saying your were healthy; that is a good day… if only we could remember. 

I am a runner.  I am not a fair weather runner.  I am not a competitive runner.  I run to be outside, to pray, to live well, to think clearly and to know that I can run.  I catch myself, sometimes, watching my feet change places rhythmically.  It’s wonderful to see forward momentum.  I love country roads and the frogs croaking, crickets chirping while the trees turn dark against the wide colored sky.  It makes me chuckle and holler with unbridled, happy energy. 

Four months ago, I got a new pair of the wrong shoes.  I ran less than 60 miles before my knee got all disconnected from itself.  I discovered this disconnectedness when I bent down to put a tire on a trailer and it popped.  My eyes popped wide from the realization that I had just inadvertently quit running for some indeterminate length of time.  “Oh Shucks!,” I thought, “well, maybe it will get better really fast…”  I didn’t really think “oh shucks,” but this is a PG story.  So, I bent down over and over that day, putting on trailer tires.  My knee didn’t get better really fast.  I let it rest for a couple days, then went running in those shiny new shoes; just a couple slow miles.  Then a few days later four miles; ouch.  So I let it rest a whole week then ran a 10k.  I had to get the shirt.  The bummer about that 10k, the Pints to Pasta, was the parking.  It was a 10-minute walk for a healthy person and a 30-minute walk for a pretending-to-be-thoughtful-while-I-try-not-to-cry-because-my-knee-oh-my-knee-hurts-so-bad.  And yes, I do drive a little truck with a clutch. 

I let it rest even longer, this time because I could barely walk.  I studied and determined it was the little band (MCL) that connected the top bone to the bottom bone on the inside of my left knee.  My symptoms indicated only a level one sprain.  Then I ran again, just a tiny bit.  No good, I could tell it wasn’t going to work.  So I went to see my magical, mystical, only $45.00 per session chiropractor.  He pressed, pulled and popped and said it was fixed.  I could run two days later on Friday and he would be in on the weekend if I needed it.  I waited.  Aren’t I disciplined?  A full week later I strapped on the shoes and went for a short, achingly slow run.  It still hurt.  By now, my nice guy patience was transparent in most places and see through in all the others. 

I started riding and swimming.  My sitter ached, my hair turned to burnt broom strands but it didn’t hurt my knee.  I didn’t even try to run.  Like I said – discipline.  I even tried hot yoga.  It was hot.  I would have quit that but I was in a room full of small women and my wife was right next to me.  That wasn’t discipline; I just didn’t want the humiliation.  All this time, I feel sad, I feel lost and empty.  I’m irritated by everything.  My mind goes too fast and I’m unpleasant to be around.  I’m considering either becoming a monkish or just giving myself over to junk food and B movies on late night TV… and infomercials. 

Then, here is where the story turns; I got my Somnio Line Up Device.  See, for the last several months, I have been considering being a “Somniac”.  This is the moniker for a person who represents Somnio Shoe Company and helps people solve their running problems.  Somnio is a new company that created a customizable running shoe.  Using different inserts and cushioning options, a Somniac can create a shoe that perfectly matches the biomechanical needs of each foot and leg of a runner.  So it is possible, with 650 different options, to create a different shoe for each foot.  The Line Up Device uses lasers to determine a runner’s angle of pronation.  I am “supposedly” an over-pronator. 

So, I got my Line Up Device.  I watched the video.  I tried it out on myself.  It said I’m not an over-pronator.  I scowled in consternation and tried it again.  Same thing.  I scowl some more and pull on my beard (it helps me think).  I look at my old running shoes and watch a couple more videos.  Suspicion starts brewing and I walk around aimlessly for awhile, muttering to myself and postulating to my kids and my wife.  They look and me and roll their eyes.  I have my daughter run the line up device and tell me what my knees are doing.  She confirms my suspicions.  I call Somnio and run my theory by them.  They confirm it to. 

I have been wearing the wrong shoes.  I am the opposite of an over-pronator.  I had essentially, with those shiny new shoes, strapped a brick to the inside of my foot.  What is called medial posting, intended to halt foot motion, was banging the crap out of the joints in my right leg.  So, every time things started feeling better, I put those shoes on and went for a little run… Yeah, kind of like trying to heal a scab by rubbing it with 36 grit sand paper.  Or like fixing a cavity by holding 300 gummy bears in your mouth for 12 hours.  It’s just not going to work.

Somnio sent me a new pair of shoes (for free).  I had ordered a motion control version back when I was an over pronator.  While I waited, I started running just a little in my old shoes.  And…nothing.  Nothing hurt.  I iced, just to be safe and to prove to my daughter that I was tough enough to do for five minutes what she did every day for 20.  I ran again and again, even in shoes with over 750 miles on them.  I got my new Somios and ran a 5k with my wife.  I’m ok.  My knees don’t hurt.  I ran this morning in the rain and cold with my soggy running dog getting my leg wet.  Splashing through puddles, I smiled really wide in the gray morning. 

The lesson here – I did not know who I was.  I wore armor that did not fit and it broke me.  I could not be me in the wrong shoes.  I am a certain kind of person.  I can’t be another kind.  If I know who I am, it tells me what I should do.  When I then try to do that thing – it works.  Even if it doesn’t look like it at first.  Even if it feels awkward.  If I be me, it works.  The whole wide world is ready for me.  I’m ready for it, but only in the right shoes.