Death IS The Real Problem

The unbelievable tragedy in Connecticut is wrong on many levels.  And on every level, with every issue there are sides to argue.  Most of us instinctively pick one.  We disagree, or at least we see the issues differently.  If you spend a few minutes on the internet, you will find wildly divergent perspectives, charged with intense emotion.  Interestingly, the conflict on these issues, especially when the issue is the main connection (rather than the relationship), rarely ends in resolution.  More often than not, it ends in greater anger, judgement and separation.  

The opposing parties in a conflict - where the disagreed upon issue is the connecting tissue - generally do not change their minds or hearts.  Instead they find more reason to be divided.  It’s human nature.  Pick any issue, invite a bunch of folks who disagree on it to get together, let them go and see what happens.  Volume will go up, heads will start shaking, postures will stiffen and most people in the room will be formulating responses rather than listening.  It’s a commonly prepared recipe for division.

What to do about it?  We have to go deeper into the source of tragedy.  There are bigger issues we can agree on.  In the case of children dying needlessly, we can agree that it’s a kind of evil that we were never intended to experience.  Sadly, there is no fix to this event - only repair and slow healing.  There is however, a response we can choose that will generate unity rather than division.  The best short and long term, unifying response to death is the offer of life.  Granted, offering life always costs the offerer.  Fortunately, in the fostering of unity it is repaid.  There is no self-generated security within the humility and vulnerability of offering life.  We must get it from those who are also offering life even as we offer to those who are not.  We cannot only love the easily lovable or we maintain and strengthen the division.

This sort of division in our world is on every single level.  It occurs in broken families, between spouses, siblings, parents and children, cousins and all else.  It occurs between neighbors over important things like the choice of paint colors and fences.  It occurs in communities regarding parking and parks and schools and zoning.  Within city, state, federal and global politics.  Anywhere and anyway people live in proximity, affecting each other - division occurs.  The examples go on increasing until we are fighting wars on a global level.  Division is rampant.  We are separated from each other and from our creator.  Reconnecting is the battle.  Our response to tragedy can either fight the division or add to it.  

What comes between us, the judgement, lack of compassion and understanding, our personal agendas and insecurities, feeds the tragedies.  Granted, it’s a broken world.  There has been evil here for as long as there have been people.  We are not going to eliminate it but we can fight it.  And it’s a fight worth whatever the cost.  It is not our job to save the world.  It IS our job to offer ourselves, to lay down our lives.  When a connection is made and unity is gained, when two people see past the small issues and find that there is meaning and value in each others lives and find that the sharing of those lives transcends the small issues, it’s worth it.  Any cost is worth it.  We’ll need to suffer the pain, but it will be together.  Suffering pain together from different sides of the imaginary line, for the sake of life, is even more powerful than sharing pain with others on “our side”, but it comes with a world changing benefit.  It heals.  When we share life, it heals a little of the hurt in this world in a personal way.  It literally changes the world.  

Any success on fixing a smaller issue still relies on the above mentioned effort to bring healing to the world.  If we pass a law, but do not change hearts, nothing is won.  Nothing is changed.  The battle just shifts a bit and continues to be fought.

Imagine what it would be like if each of us committed to breaching the disconnect.  One at a time offering life, whatever the cost.  This is a fix that cannot be implemented from anywhere but on a personal level.  The government cannot implement a new program to make us love each other.  Religion cannot provide the moral pressure and no economic stimulation large or small can pay for it.  Any of these institutions can be participants, none are the solution we can rely on.  The solution is us, our lives mixed together in spite of our differences.  It is in the mixing that we will find that our differences have strengths and weaknesses.  None of us (alone) is balanced.  It is only together that our incompleteness is completed and our strength becomes really powerful.  

So let’s fight for life together.  Let’s fight together for life.  Let’s live together to fight against the disconnect.  I think that means the same thing all three times....

It will require:

Humility for we are all broken and in need of each other.  

Painful generosity for we all have too much of something and know someone who has less than they need (time, money, energy, skills, friendship, etc).

Forgiveness for we have all been hurt directly and indirectly and judgement just adds to the pain.

Truth.

Strength. Endurance. Fierce determination. 

You got it?  Not everyone does, but everyone can.  Dig deep.  I need you.  We all need you with us.