It's Gotta Be a Person

Energy is Not Lovable

What is lacking in the theory that my life force - my soul, is part of a collective, un-named energy that I partake in whether alive or “dead” - what is missing is a personality.  I need an energetic relationship, not just energy.  Someone I know that I can trust and rely on when I have needs beyond myself.  

It is critical to need each other.  It is life giving to know that I am not an independent, lonely individual.  Having each other is beautiful.  But it is not enough because we are not enough.  I am not enough for you and you are not enough for me.  This is true even in the most intimate, fulfilling relationships.  We do not know enough, love well enough.  We are not present enough or selfless enough.  We represent, when we do it well (and perhaps even more poignantly point out the need when we do it poorly), that which I/we hope and long for.  We are made that way - to represent.  But, don’t we each know that if “we” are all we have, then we will never be satisfied, never safe, never relieved of the pain of loss, death and disappointment that comes with being broken humans in a broken world?  I don’t think it’s just me that needs something more.  Someone who is like me but more.  

I need the most human human.  One who knows me intimately and loves me because I am his and he knows exactly what makes me the way I am and not only forgives me and celebrates me but weeps with me and laughs with me.  I need someone who is and always will be beside me, always listening, always ready and able to give me what I need - and knows much better than me, what that is (even when I ask for something else).  I need someone who not only knows me better than I know myself but knows everything else and can put what I need to know into my heart.

  

If awareness and energy is all I have, how do I get healed?  How do I find peace?  How do I love well?  How am I ever satisfied of my need for life that lasts and grows?  

There is not enough time to satisfy us if we awaken to the truth that there is more than we could ever know in this limited life.  No imperfect, mortal person can love enough to cover the hurt that we have received.  No imperfect, mortal person will be always there or always kind, truthful, understanding and forgiving.  And neither will we...

We need a person like us.  

No, we need the perfect, eternal person we are like.