Shoe Armor

 It’s all about the shoes.  At least for me, this time, the shoes were the critical factor. 

I am a runner.  I am not a fair weather runner.  I am not a competitive runner.  I run to be outside, to pray, to live well, to think clearly and to know that I can run.  I catch myself, sometimes, watching my feet change places rhythmically - hypnotic forward momentum.  It’s amazing to watch my body adapt to longer faster distances.  I love country roads and the frogs croaking, crickets chirping while the trees turn dark against the wide color changing sky.  It makes me chuckle and holler with unbridled, happy energy. 

A while ago, I got a new pair of wrong shoes.
  I ran less than 60 miles before my knee got all disconnected from itself.  I discovered this disconnectedness when I bent down to put a tire on a trailer and it popped.  My eyes popped wide from the realization that I had just inadvertently quit running for some indeterminate length of time.  “Oh Shucks!,” I thought, “well, maybe it will get better really fast…”  I didn’t really think “oh shucks,” but this is a PG story.  My knee didn’t get better really fast.  I let it rest for a couple days, then went running in those shiny new shoes; just a couple slow miles.  Then a few days later four miles; ouch.  So I let it rest a whole week then ran a 10k I had signed up for earlier.  I had to get the shirt.  The bummer about that run, the Pints to Pasta, was the parking.  A 10-minute walk for a healthy person and a 30-minute walk for a pretending-to-be-thoughtful-while-I-try-not-to-cry-because-my-knee-oh-my-knee-hurts-so-bad.  And, I drive a truck with a clutch. 

I let it rest even longer, this time because I could barely walk.  I studied and determined it was the little band (MCL) that connected the top bone to the bottom bone on the inside of my knee.  My symptoms indicated a level one sprain.  I ran again, just a tiny bit.  No good, I could tell it wasn’t going to work.  So I went to see my magical, mystical chiropractor.  He pressed, pulled and popped and said it was fixed.  I could run two days later and he would be in on the weekend if I needed it.  I waited with grim determination for a full week.  Then I strapped on the shoes and went for a short, achingly slow run.  It still hurt.  By now, my nice guy patience was transparent in most places and see through in all the others. 

I started riding and swimming.  My sitter ached, my hair turned to burnt broom strands but it didn’t hurt my knee.  I didn’t even try to run.  Like I said – discipline.  I even tried hot yoga.  It was hot.  I would have quit that but I was in a room full of small women and my wife was right next to me.  It wasn’t discipline; I just didn’t want the humiliation.  All this time, I feel sad, I feel lost and empty.  I’m irritated by everything.  My mind goes too fast and I’m unpleasant to be around.  I’m considering either becoming a monk or just giving myself over to junk food and B movies on late night TV… and infomercials. 

Then the story turns; I got my Somnio Line Up Device.  Somnio is a new company that created a customizable running shoe.  Using different inserts, wedges and cushioning options, a “Somniac” (like me) can create a shoe that matches the biomechanical needs of each foot and leg of a runner. The Line Up Device uses lasers to determine a runner’s angle of pronation.  I am “supposedly” an over-pronator. 

So, I got my Line Up Device.  I watched the video.  I tried it out on myself.  It said I’m NOT an over-pronator.  I scowled in consternation and tried it again.  Same thing.  I scowl some more and pull on my beard.  I study the soles of my old running shoes and watch a couple more videos.  Suspicion starts brewing and I walk around aimlessly for a while, muttering to myself and postulating to my kids and my wife.  They roll their eyes.  My daughter runs the lasers and confirms my suspicions.  I call Somnio and they confirm it to. 

I have been wearing the wrong shoes.  I am not an over-pronator.  I had essentially, with those shiny new shoes, strapped a brick to the inside of my foot.  What is called medial posting, intended to halt foot motion, was banging the crap out of the joints in my leg.  So, every time things started feeling better, I put those shoes on and went for a little run… Kind of like trying to heal a scab by rubbing it with 36 grit sand paper.  Or fixing a cavity by holding 300 gummy bears in your mouth for 12 hours.  It’s just not going to work.

Brooks Defyance 4 - my shoe

Somnio mailed me a new pair of neutral shoes (for free).  While I waited, Fit Right exchanged the shoes I had been beating myself up with even though it had been far more than their 30 day return policy allowed.  I got Brooks Defyance.  Those guys are great!  I ran.  And…nothing.  Nothing hurt.  I iced, just to be safe and to prove to my daughter that I was tough enough to do for five minutes what she did every day for 20.  I ran again and again.  I got my new Somnios and ran the Hot Buttered Run with my wife.  I’m ok.  My knees don’t hurt.  I ran the mornings in the rain and cold with my soggy running dog getting my leg wet.  Splashing through puddles, I smiled more. 

The lesson for me – I did not know who I was.  I wore armor that did not fit and it broke me.  I could not be me in the wrong shoes.  I am a certain kind of person.  I can’t be another kind.  It takes time, patience and energy to figure out what kind I am, but when I know who I am, it tells me what I should do.  When I then try to do that thing – it works.  Even if it doesn’t look like it at first.  Even if it feels a little crazy.  If I only be me, it works.  The narrow country roads are ready for me.  I’m ready for them, but only in the right shoes.

How does your armor fit?